5-Hour Energy – Have a Great Morning…depressing and annoying!

Talk about a depressing commercial! The combination of the sad/carnival music (or whatever it is) and the guy who seems like he wants to kill himself already at 6:08 in the morning, makes me feel bad about life (and this one isn’t much better.)

Let’s do a quick play-by-play…

“I don’t wanna get up” – rolls up sleeves
“I don’t wanna go to work” – gets out razor
“I HATE mornings” – finds veins
“Greeeaat, I have 20 minutes, no time for coffee” – about to slit wrists
“Hello, my friend” – but wait!
[drinks 5-Hour Energy shot] – makes annoying face
…
“Let’s do this!” – makes another annoying face while adjusting tie, but lives another day…in his depressing life, where 5-Hour Energy is his life support system
ANNOYING!

The funny part is that he sets his alarm for 6:08 (unless he hit snooze a bunch?) yet he complains that there isn’t enough time for coffee. Shouldn’t he just set his alarm for a little earlier? Maybe he should go to bed earlier? Does he eat breakfast? Any way you slice it, this guy isn’t living a healthy lifestyle. Also, these shots are about $2-3 a pop, so his weeks could get fairly expensive if he’s downing them on a regular basis.

I’ll admit though that I do like 5-Hour Energy at times. Normally I use it as a caffeine boost before going on a morning run, where I don’t want a cup of coffee sloshing around in my stomach. But that isn’t all that frequent and I never drink it on work days.

McDonald’s New England Coffee – Your hair smells like sunshine…annoying!

Another McDonald’s commercial makes the list! This time it’s for the New England Coffee and while there are a couple ads that do this type of thing, this one is definitely the worst (but this one is pretty annoying too!) Let’s cut to the chase though. The last part of the ad, where the guy tells the girl, “Your hair smells like sunshine”…creepy. Is the girl his friend and he’s trying to make it “more than just friends”? Is she some girl he just met and is thinking this is a way to pick up girls? Is it his girlfriend/wife? In that case, it’s just stupid, since the girl obviously wouldn’t be offended. Any way you slice it, it’s annoying.

On another related topic, one of my pet peeves is when an ad/song/movie comes off as elitist (is that the right word?) It might be weird, but for some reason I’m not a fan of nearly every country song that talks about a small town, screen door, barbecue stains, six-packs on the porch, dead end roads, etc. It seems that every one of those songs comes off as “If you’re not drinking a six pack on your porch on a Friday night listening to blue grass country…you’re not as good as us. You’re just some kind of low-life city dweller not enjoying life to the fullest!” Maybe that’s just me, but anyways, these McDonald’s ads come across with the same type of message. If you’re not a REAL New Englander (which I am, even though I don’t know all the trivia they ask in the commercials) then you’re not good enough for McDonald’s New England coffee. Annoying.

Diet Mountain Dew – Like an Eagle lady…creepy annoying!

Is the bird sound lady creepy or what?! And what is the point of this ad? The guys with their stupid eagle tattoos are annoying and apparently the lady had her voice altered so she can only “speak” eagle sounds? Possibly the only redeeming quality of the entire commercial is when she does the smaller squawk at the end to smash the vase…but even that isn’t cool. Then, to make matters worse, they end the ad with the freaky lady giving the two guys some awkward/sexual/creepy look as she walks away. Ugh.

On YouTube Mountain Dew has added the following description:

The taste of Diet DEW is bold, unexpected and proud. Like an eagle. A golden, flaming, diamond-studded, limited edition, ninja eagle that has a license to kill.

Sooooo…it still doesn’t make sense. It’s also annoying that they stick “ninja” in the description, exploiting the term because they know every geek on the internet loves ninjas.

 

In case you were interested, user curtis12399 claims this about the bird lady…

Her name is Bonnie Aarons. She plays “Crackead Bonnie” in Mark Walhberg’s new movie “The Fighter.”

Bonus: Mars Needs Moms movie trailer…for an annoying looking movie!

Let me start this off by saying that obviously the movie Mars Needs Moms is not targeted at my demographic (male, late 20’s.) Either way though, this movie looks terrible. I’ve watched some animated movies recently (Despicable Me, Megamind – you know they’re on your Netflix queue) and enjoyed them, but I will NOT be seeing this one!

Avatar was somehow able to pull off the human-like aliens fairly well, but in this completely animated movie, they’re not as successful. Theres a term used when talking about humanoid robots called the “Uncanny valley”, where if something starts looking too much like humans, but are NOT humans, it makes the mind uncomfortable. Anyways, the human characters in this movie seem to be pushing that boundary a bit. Then there’s the aliens themselves, which are just CREEPY!

Oh…and the plot looks terrible. Maybe some kids will like it…but I doubt it. Annoying.